The comeback kid

Jerome returns to the blogosphere after a year-long hiatus, due in part to his need to practice writing in full sentences instead of cryptic phrases like "heart S1S2" and "LoSoKo".

The past year has been eventful, as anyone who's trudged through housemanship will probably say. Memories of handling a patient list of 40 alone or feeble attempts to battle ptosis after a tumultous night call bring a curiously stimulating chill down the spine, because, despite all its aborrhence, we have all made it through and eliminated the "P" before our MCR numbers.

And we make further progress. Friends around have taken their exams and gotten their traineeships, all ready to embark on the next phase of their careers. Yet, jerome continues to dawdle around, agonisingly uncertain of what his next move should be.

Jerome doesn't hate his job, but the truth is, it wasn't as exciting as he imagined it to be. Medicine can be a rather mundane thing because it seems to him like some sort of a "pattern recognition" activity where you fit history and physical examination to a list of differentials, then investigate to confirm it. This gets pretty boring after a while, as he believes the polyclinic doctor seeing the 16th URTI patient of the day will probably confirm.

There are definitely interesting cases around, especially in his present department (A&E) where you can see firsthand a VT returning to a perfusing rhythm after defib, amongst other things. Perhaps this is the only place where it is possible to reduce a shoulder dislocation, T&S a finger laceration, I&D a buttock abscess, intubate a collapsed patient, convert an SVT, and wrestle a delirious drunkard, all within the span of 8 hours. This explains why Jerome’s spirits have been lifted since he came to the department.

However, Jerome’s going back to army soon. Whilst it's going to be a much welcomed break from clinical work, it will be prudent to start planning for the future so that the 2 years in green uniform will not be wasted.

Unfortunately, attempts at planning for the years ahead have been painfully unproductive, because Jerome suffers a relapse of his self-pity in M1 when he struggled to rationalise his choice of medicine over “the other thing”. It is interesting to note that he has just received a feedback form where the last question asks "If given a choice, will you choose medicine again?" and his eyes wanders and looks forlornly at the box marked "unsure". Jerome had no answer to that question. And he never had for the past 6 years whilst in the medical fraternity.

So, Jerome remains undecided of his next step. Maybe his friends can offer some advice. In the meantime, Jerome continues with his job and valiantly endeavours to whack the self-pity out of his psyche.